Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
