just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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