That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
