loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
No I am not eating basil off your cock
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
