I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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