We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
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