I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
