don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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