went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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