Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize