How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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