So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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