I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
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