Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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