Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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