did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
