so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
