Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date