Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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