was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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