Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
