somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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