This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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