do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
