I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
