I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
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I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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