I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
