ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
