Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
