Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
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