dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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