he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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