just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
