don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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