everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
