this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
