I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She bit a glass in half.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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