I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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