Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
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