What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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