Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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