im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
