wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
