the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize
