i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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