dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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