he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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