It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
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If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
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I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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