dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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