So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
