My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
