You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
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If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
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