If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize