youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
