Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
