If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize
