you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize
