theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize