Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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