I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
