Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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