hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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