C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
