with your own penis?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Randomize
