Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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