So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
