if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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