fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
