its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
