Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
