At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Be still, my beating vagina.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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