You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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