I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Randomize
