another moral hangover. fuck.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Randomize
