Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The Olympian is in my bed
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Holy shit dude........stairs
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
