btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
